Ok SO i know Susannah wrote about this before but Im writing about it now because Im watching my little cousin…. SO I sont know what it is about babies but there is something about grabbing one and holding it.. Have u ever noticed when u hold a baby for whatever reason it might be… Have you noticed how holdong that little thing in your arms gives your whole life a new sense of purpose.. I feel like everytime I hold my cousin or even my adorable little nephew all my worries get washed away.. I don’t like they absorb it right up all the pain all the sorrow and they only want for u to be happy when your holding them. Maybe because when you hold them if your happy it makes them feel comfortable.. But I don’t know.. I love babies and toddlers.. i dont know why but I always have! They give me a sense of purpose in life.  I think thats why I know my calling has something to do with children.. I always thought maybe it was pediatrics.. but im beginning to wonder if its something else… Like Motherhood.. I dont know I’m being silly..

Don’t worry I have no intentions of getting pregnant any time soon.. I just love babies.. and God keeps putting little babies in my life I guess to hold me over till I graduate..LOL.. Iv held many babies before..Held my little sister the day she was born.. i was so young so I honestly can’t tell you what it felt like.. But I think I might Have felt like maybe i had a purpose to protect my little sister.. make sure she never did anything to stray to far… Or make sure no one ever hurt her..

The next time i remember holding a baby was my cousin Jessica, Ryan, and Emily!!  I rember the day i found out my aunt was pregnant I was so happy and the day I met Jessica was amazing! I was so excited because this little baby reminded me of myself… I dont know why but when I was 8 years old holding my newborn cousin I kept thinking about how much she reminded me of myself… She was so pretty and she was mine!! I loved her .. then Ryan … ryan was sort of my little rag doll.. he was so much fun I remember changing his diaper it was pretty funny! then emily I saw her once when she was really little baby but didnt see her again till she was 2 and that little girl was so smart for a 2 year old! I remember her coming around the corner saying JENNAY!! JENNAY IS IN THE LIVINGROOM!! I love my cousins dearly they mean the world to me and i always do what ever I can to make them smile!! I was a cheerleader once for ryans baseball team.. I would stay up really late with jessica talking about growing up and boys and Emily I let her give me a makeover!! Wow try make under! But i did whatever  could to keep them happy that was my purpose as a cousin..

THen the more recent daltry.. wow I remember the first time I held him!! wow! That boy had me at hello.. although he cant say hello but still.. i felt like my world had new meaning and I remember i helped my step aunt christy every day after that.. i would go on my senior release just to watch daltry and talk to christy and i loved it!

Then finally Noah!! wow! NOAH.. MY NEPHEW!! Wow I never knew if i would be able to say i had a nephew because we were all almost certain that my brother would be  priest so the first of the children to have a baby would be me! But my brothr got married and 9 months later along came NOAH!! I acctually have  apicture of me and nephew seeing each other for the first time… My heart was so full of joY! I loved that little thing with all my heart and all my soul he is my everything in life! I would give anything to be able to spend everyday of my life with him.. but he is not my son so that can’t happen… I still love getting pics of my little angel!

I love babies and i just felt like writing about them! they are so sweet!