Ok SO i know Susannah wrote about this before but Im writing about it now because Im watching my little cousin…. SO I sont know what it is about babies but there is something about grabbing one and holding it.. Have u ever noticed when u hold a baby for whatever reason it might be… Have you noticed how holdong that little thing in your arms gives your whole life a new sense of purpose.. I feel like everytime I hold my cousin or even my adorable little nephew all my worries get washed away.. I don’t like they absorb it right up all the pain all the sorrow and they only want for u to be happy when your holding them. Maybe because when you hold them if your happy it makes them feel comfortable.. But I don’t know.. I love babies and toddlers.. i dont know why but I always have! They give me a sense of purpose in life.  I think thats why I know my calling has something to do with children.. I always thought maybe it was pediatrics.. but im beginning to wonder if its something else… Like Motherhood.. I dont know I’m being silly..

Don’t worry I have no intentions of getting pregnant any time soon.. I just love babies.. and God keeps putting little babies in my life I guess to hold me over till I graduate..LOL.. Iv held many babies before..Held my little sister the day she was born.. i was so young so I honestly can’t tell you what it felt like.. But I think I might Have felt like maybe i had a purpose to protect my little sister.. make sure she never did anything to stray to far… Or make sure no one ever hurt her..

The next time i remember holding a baby was my cousin Jessica, Ryan, and Emily!!  I rember the day i found out my aunt was pregnant I was so happy and the day I met Jessica was amazing! I was so excited because this little baby reminded me of myself… I dont know why but when I was 8 years old holding my newborn cousin I kept thinking about how much she reminded me of myself… She was so pretty and she was mine!! I loved her .. then Ryan … ryan was sort of my little rag doll.. he was so much fun I remember changing his diaper it was pretty funny! then emily I saw her once when she was really little baby but didnt see her again till she was 2 and that little girl was so smart for a 2 year old! I remember her coming around the corner saying JENNAY!! JENNAY IS IN THE LIVINGROOM!! I love my cousins dearly they mean the world to me and i always do what ever I can to make them smile!! I was a cheerleader once for ryans baseball team.. I would stay up really late with jessica talking about growing up and boys and Emily I let her give me a makeover!! Wow try make under! But i did whatever  could to keep them happy that was my purpose as a cousin..

THen the more recent daltry.. wow I remember the first time I held him!! wow! That boy had me at hello.. although he cant say hello but still.. i felt like my world had new meaning and I remember i helped my step aunt christy every day after that.. i would go on my senior release just to watch daltry and talk to christy and i loved it!

Then finally Noah!! wow! NOAH.. MY NEPHEW!! Wow I never knew if i would be able to say i had a nephew because we were all almost certain that my brother would be  priest so the first of the children to have a baby would be me! But my brothr got married and 9 months later along came NOAH!! I acctually have  apicture of me and nephew seeing each other for the first time… My heart was so full of joY! I loved that little thing with all my heart and all my soul he is my everything in life! I would give anything to be able to spend everyday of my life with him.. but he is not my son so that can’t happen… I still love getting pics of my little angel!

I love babies and i just felt like writing about them! they are so sweet!

S0rry guys that I haven’t updated in a while.. Not to much has been up.. Just the basic mother feels sad that I’m leaving her and  so she takes me shopping to pick out a new carpet for my dorm seeing as when i step down its always cold and dirty no matter how many times I go to zoe to borrow a broom! So I got a pretty shaggy fuzzy blue carpet and Im super psyched cause im going to work monday for a few hours and then right after work around 1 or 2 im moving back in to the dorm! EXCITING!! RIGHT!! Im gonna spruce it up a bit find a good spot for the new carpet.. then i have a crap load of twilight picks i printed off and my new calander thanks to susannah!!! and hmm what else oh yeah i dont know i think im just going to rearrange all of it just u no a new look for the new year!! …

Then around 6 or 7 I think we are going to wait for susannah’s plane to come!!! :{)!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!! And when she gets back in we might watch a movie and possiably have a little sleep over !!! YAY

Next topic!! im having a realy really good new year! Every thing is working out amazingly.. Im just hoping once I get back to the hill things between me and a certain someone will hit it off! But if not thats fine… If there is one thing i have learned sometimes people are placed in your life for a reason that is unknown.. sometimes things just happen and u never know why.. but believe it or not eventually you will learn why this person was put into your life and you will thank God for keeping it the way he kept it!

K for example… ( i use this guy for an example ALOT!!) My ex was the scum of the earth.. but im glad he came into my life because if i had never been in a relationship i would never know to stay away from guys like him!

Next topic!

SNOOP has been in a funk lately.. dont really no why or how just that he’s been in a funk.. I feel like its partially my fault though!  I feel like for some reason he feels that he has to make sure that everything going on with me a certain someone has to go perfectly or else he will feel like it was some how his fault!.. Which maybe this is the way he feels this just my inclinition.. But I just want him to know that I dont want him to feel pressured into feeling like everything has to go right.. Im happy with the situation and hey if it doesn’t work out thats fine!! I have a really fast bouncing back ability ! i know crazy right! So don’t let any of this worry u or get u over thinking cause trust me I do it alot!! and all that overthinking does is makes you feel like shit.. MY best advice to you SNOOP is that you have to take life one day at a time.. at first things can be a little sticky but eventually things work out for the best. PROMISE!! For example…. 2008 has got to be the worst year of my life! NO LIE!!!  Nothing ever worked out for me in the way i wanted till i got to springhill everything started happening for me..  met amazing friends.. got a better position that lets me work with my school schedule.. and then I met someone very sweet and made me feel good about myself..

All of this happened the last couple of months of 2008! i think it was in preperation for an amazing year! You know why its going to be amazing.. because I have the best friends that anyone can ask for and with them im almost positive nothing will go wrong! SO SNOOP.. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP and know that no matter what you have amazing friends to back you up!! NO MATTER WHAT!!!

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