Edwards LullabyOkay… So.. I use to have a blog before and then I stopped but I really think a blog could help me with a lot of the stuff I’m dealing with now..

I recently began to read the twilight Series and once I began I could not stop. I was going crazy over these books! The best part was that most of my close friends had already read them. So I would get to a part that I was in utmost awe over and run down the hall to them and scream about it… It was GREAT.. HAHA OK.. so For me it was great, for my friends, not so much. i think when I finally finished it they were like thank GOD ALMIGHTY. I really honestly had my doubts about these books. I have always been one of those girls that was more of a conformist then a nonconformist. I usely wouldn’t go with something that was outside of what I believed to be cool. All this talk about Vampires was actually kind of weird and creepy all at the same time….. So i did what any conformist would do… I vowed not to read it… HAHAHAHAHAHa. Silly girl.. If only I knew what I was missing maybe I would have read them sooner then I did. But its OK… I prefer the way I came about it because I actually felt like this experience brought me closer in my group of girl friends.. so on thing you will probably notice in my blogs is more than likely I will quote a lot of twilight.. its just good stuff

So one of the biggest parts of Twilight I have been stuck on is Edwards Amazingness… HAHA.. He is what every girl dreams of, but very few find. He is the epiphany of a good boy.. hahaha… But seriously his character has the ability to make you feel as if he is yours, then when you finish reading it your like… oh crap… he is just a character he will never be mine…,.

But what if it was possible for every girl to find their Edward? What if every one has a Edward and whether or not they are willing to acknowledge this is all up to the eye of the beholder? One of my closer friends and me were talking about this after I read it.. I walked into the room and was like ” Where is my Edward?” “Why can’t I have my Edward” “Don’t I deserve my Edward?” Yeah.. I got a little carried away.. My friend said to me something that truly got me thinking… She said “Every one has their someone”. But what bothered me the most was that I didn’t have that someone now.

Why is it that I so desperately want this you might ask? Well first of all twilight did stir this up for me but more recently My brother was married. Which sort of felt like a peace of my puzzle that I call life was stolen. Now I’m not saying I hate my sister-in-law for marrying my brother.. that is not the case at all.. what I am saying is.. My brother for me was what my father should have been.. I know that sounds really strange but in order to completely understand what I mean by this you have to know my history…

    I was raised by a single parent because my parents realized when I was about 3 that they loved each other very much, but they couldn’t live with each other.. My father was not the best supporter and my mom fled… So most of my life my brother raised me when my mother worked and I only saw my dad twice a year so he wasn’t exactly that role model I needed.. So I was forced to have my brother as that role model…

So now that u know that small piece of my life I will continue… You know how their is a old saying that most little girls want to marry their daddy’s? well that was what my brother was for me. When I put it this way maybe it doesn’t sound so weird.. Trust me I love my brother just as a brother… but i admired the type of guy he was.. He respected girls.. like Edward.. He treated them as a equal and he made them feel wanted… and that was what my sister-in-law got out of the deal.. She was one of the very lucky few out there.. And I admire her for settling with nothing but the best..

Which leads me to what this book made me realize.. I don’t want to settle for just anyone.. I plan on settling for the best and nothing but the best… What scares me is how rare this is… Guys aren’t what they use to be which makes it so hard for me.. I have to pick through the garbage to find my treasure…

My challenge for you readers is to do exactly what my sister-in-law did and what I plan to do.. Pick through the garbage I guarantee you will find your jewel.. your treasure.. Your Edward…